As I sit here in front of a wonderful fire with a can of coke..I am thankful that sunny days are ahead…so here’s to more snowy days, relaxing by a fire and a 110th anniversary summer that will be incredible!

Stay safe!

Yesterday I had the privilege of sitting around the table with some very talented people I refer to as my “Key Staff” . Some traveled from as far as Florida to get the ball rolling for the summer of 2012.

Sitting around a table for 5 hours doesn’t sound like fun but with this crew it was.  We started sketching out the calendar, overnights, trips and special events and in between we LAUGHED….a lot.  Funny thing about getting together with camp people, regardless of the task at hand there is always laughter involved.

For those of you who haven’t heard (and that is hard to believe) this summer is our 110^th birthday!  There are very few places that can compare with us.  Surprise Lake Camp is the oldest Jewish sleepaway camp serving campers on its original land.  Happy Birthday to us!  Surprise Lake Camp has a rich history and tradition and the goal for this summer is to continue that tradition.  In addition to the wonderful camping program we ALWAYS provide, we have many events and parties planned for our 110^th season.  Olympics will be bigger and better than ever.  There will be surprise guests and special birthday giveaways!  The summer of 2012 will go down as the summer to remember.  I hope to see you all at camp!

7 lessons about everything from the show about nothing.

I’ve long believed that those of us who make a living studying human nature should be as well-versed in popular culture as we are well-read in the scientific literature. Admittedly, this belief stems in part from my desire to rationalize a late-night tendency to catch up on Daily Show episodes rather than grade papers. But there’s also a sincere sentiment underlying this claim, as our popular media so clearly shape and reflect many issues integral to the contemporary human experience.

As any student who has taken a class with me can attest, my go-to pop culture reference point for the psychology of daily life has long been Seinfeld. Far from a “show about nothing,” as it’s sometimes called, Seinfeldwas actually an analysis of the ins and outs of daily human interaction—of the mundane social experiences previously not deemed worthy of exploration in front of a mass audience.

So in honor of the publication of my first book later this month (a book that one website has already reviewed as follows: “as much Seinfeld as science, Situations Matter is a great book to start a new year on”), I hereby present to you my Top 7 List of Lessons about Human Nature offered by Seinfeld. And if you’re wondering why I chose 7 rather than 10, well, then, you have some re-runs to catch up on:

7. The Ubiquity of Social Norms. Seinfeld was a show about norms, not nothing. At its minutiae-focused best, the series was a 22-minute weekly discourse on the unwritten rules that guide social interaction: After how many dates are you obligated to break off a relationship in person? Which calls are too important to be made via cell phone? What’s the appropriate way to dip a chip? And so on.

The influence of social norms on human behavior is pervasive, from governing when we’re comfortable speaking up versus remaining silent to shaping our divergent expectations regarding the tendencies of men versus women. As Jerry sarcastically but astutely explains to George—who has just objected to the need to bring wine to a dinner party—”The fabric of society is very complex” (clip below). And Seinfeld attracted an audience by exploring those very complexities.

6. We’re Not Really Colorblind. I’ve blogged before on my own research regarding the tendency of contemporary individuals to try to navigate interracial interactions by claiming that they “don’t even see color.” Quick summary: These efforts often backfire. And they do so largely because the claim that one doesn’t notice race rings disingenuous to those who hear it.

Much like the audience laughter after George spends an entire episode trying to prove to his African-American boss that he has Black friends, but then has the gall to tell someone else, “I don’t see people in terms of color.” While Seinfeld admittedly focused for the most part on the mundane musings of upper/middle-class Whites, when it did touch on issues related to race and ethnicity, it could be unsparing in its portrayal of this demographic’s misguided and embarrassing efforts to handle diverse settings.

5. We’re Not Always Too Helpful, Either. As #6 illustrates, Seinfeld‘s depiction of humanity was frequently a less-than-rosy one. The same can be said of behavioral science research, as with the dozens of studies that have documented bystander apathy during emergencies. Being in a hurry, being distracted, being in the presence of other people whom we assume will take care of the problem… there is a wide range of circumstances that render individuals—yes, you and me included—less likely to get involved in the affairs of others.

So it goes on Seinfeld as well. From George knocking down a grandmother in a walker to escape a house fire (clip below) to Kramer, Jerry, and Elaine trying to force-feed cookies to a man who has passed out, the show’s characters repeatedly epitomize humanity’s ability to perform below expectation just when the stakes are the highest. While the series finale was panned by many, it was quite fitting that the last plotline of the show would hinge on the quartet’s brazen indifference to a carjacking, once again focusing on the darker side of human nature.

4. Our Need to Know Why. We people are curious by nature. We’re not content merely observing those around us—we dissect what we see and question why others behave the way they do. In short, we often feel a pressing need to know why?, a desire to ponder the appropriate attribution for the actions we encounter. And so we ask ourselves, for instance, does this saleswoman really think I look good in this shirt? Or does she say that to every potentially paying customer because she works on commission?

Much of the appeal of Seinfeld was that, each week, its characters shared our chronic need to ask why? In fact, they often took this curiosity about the human condition to an extreme, derailing conversations and ruining relationships in the name of getting to the bottom of the mundane social mysteries in their midst.  As when Jerry spends an entire episode racking his brain trying to figure out why his otherwise dessert-receptive girlfriend, Audrey, wouldn’t so much as sample the best apple pie in town on their previous date. Of course, as he learns first (ahem) hand, sometimes such questions are better left unanswered (clip below):

3. Love can be More Mundane than Sublime. We often think of love in mystical terms. We romanticize about soulmates or deem attraction too magical for rational analysis. This sacred view of love was hardly de rigeur on Seinfeld, though. How could it be, with many of the characters changing dating partners only slightly less frequently than they did wardrobe?

Yes, the show’s take on intimate relationships was cynical. But it also managed to capture the truism that mundane aspects of daily circumstance play a much greater role in attraction than we give them credit for. Like similarity (Jerry falls for a female version of himself). And familiarity (George grows on a date like an annoying commercial jingle). And the allure of forbidden love (George pretends to be the “bad boy”). Romantic? No. Faithful to the context-dependence of real-life attraction? Yeah, pretty much.

2. Who You are Shapes Who I am. Even our most intimate of thoughts about who we are—our personal identities—depend on context. Sure, the self-help guru tells us to get in touch with our “inner self,” but the reality is that who we think we are usually depends on who we’re with. Ask a person to describe him or herself and the answer you get depends on a range of mundane factors like where they are, what mood they’re in, and who’s listening in on their response.

Seinfeld got this. A self-help show it most certainly was not, and it managed to convey the idea that we see ourselves differently when we’re with different people. For evidence, look no further than George’s famous “worlds colliding” monologue, in which he cites the different person he feels himself to be when with his buddies versus with his girlfriend (clip below).

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 Springsteen has released the text of the eulogy that he delivered at the funeral of Clarence Clemons on June 21st at Royal Poinciana Chapel in Palm Beach, Florida. He also performed an acoustic version of “10th Avenue Freeze-Out” and ended the ceremony by performing “You’re A Friend Of Mine” with Jackson Browne and members of The E Street Band. ”This is a slightly revised version of the eulogy I delivered for Clarence at his memorial,” says Springsteen. “I’d like to thank all our fans and friends who have comforted us over the past difficult weeks.”

I’ve been sitting here listening to everyone talk about Clarence and staring at that photo of the two of us right there.  It’s a picture of Scooter and The Big Man, people who we were sometimes.  As you can see in this particular photo, Clarence is admiring his muscles and I’m pretending to be nonchalant while leaning upon him.  I leaned on Clarence a lot; I made a career out of it in some ways.

Those of us who shared Clarence’s life, shared with him his love and his confusion.   Though “C” mellowed with age, he was always a wild and unpredictable ride.  Today I see his sons Nicky, Chuck, Christopher and Jarod sitting here and I see in them the reflection of a lot of C’s qualities. I see his light, his darkness, his sweetness, his roughness, his gentleness, his anger, his brilliance, his handsomeness, and his goodness.  But, as you boys know your pop was a not a day at the beach.  “C” lived a life where he did what he wanted to do and he let the chips, human and otherwise, fall where they may. Like a lot of us your pop was capable of great magic and also of making quite an amazing mess.  This was just the nature of your daddy and my beautiful friend.  Clarence’s unconditional love, which was very real, came with a lot of conditions.  Your pop was a major project and always a work in progress.   “C” never approached anything linearly, life never proceeded in a straight line. He never went  A… B…. C…. D.  It was always A… J…. C…. Z… Q… I….!  That was the way Clarence lived and made his way through the world.  I know that can lead to a lot of confusion and hurt, but your father also carried a lot of love with him, and I know he loved each of you very very dearly.

Remembering Clarence Clemons: His Life and Career in Photos

It took a village to take care of Clarence Clemons.  Tina, I’m so glad you’re here.  Thank you for taking care of my friend, for loving him.  Victoria, you’ve been a loving, kind and caring wife to Clarence and you made a huge difference in his life at a time when the going was not always easy. To all of “C’s” vast support network, names too numerous to mention, you know who you are and we thank you. Your rewards await you at the pearly gates.  My pal was a tough act but he brought things into your life that were unique and when he turned on that love light, it illuminated your world.  I was lucky enough to stand in that light for almost 40 years, near Clarence’s heart, in the Temple of Soul.

So a little bit of history: from the early days when Clarence and I traveled together, we’d pull up to the evenings lodgings and within minutes “C” would transform his room into a world of his own.  Out came the colored scarves to be draped over the lamps, the scented candles, the incense, the patchouli oil, the herbs, the music, the day would be banished, entertainment would come and go, and Clarence the Shaman would reign and work his magic night, after night.  Clarence’s ability to enjoy Clarence was incredible.  By 69, he’d had a good run, because he’d already lived about 10 lives, 690 years in the life of an average man.  Every night, in every place, the magic came flying out of C’s suitcase.  As soon as success allowed, his dressing room would take on the same trappings as his hotel room until a visit there was like a trip to a sovereign nation that had just struck huge oil reserves.  “C” always knew how to live.  Long before Prince was out of his diapers, an air of raunchy mysticism ruled in the Big Man’s world.  I’d wander in from my dressing room, which contained several fine couches and some athletic lockers, and wonder what I was doing wrong! Somewhere along the way all of this was christened the Temple of Soul; and “C” presided smilingly over its secrets, and its pleasures.  Being allowed admittance to the Temple’s wonders was a lovely thing.

Jackson Browne, Bob Weir, Tom Morello and More Pay Tribute to Clarence Clemons

As a young child my son Sam became enchanted with the Big Man… no surprise.  To a child Clarence was a towering fairy tale figure, out of some very exotic storybook.  He was a dreadlocked giant, with great hands and a deep mellifluous voice sugared with kindness and regard.  And… to Sammy, who was just a little white boy, he was deeply and mysteriously black.  In Sammy’s eyes, “C” must have appeared as all of the African continent, shot through with American cool, rolled into one welcoming and loving figure.  So… Sammy decided to pass on my work shirts and became fascinated by Clarence’s suits and his royal robes.  He declined a seat in dad’s van and opted for “C’s” stretch limousine, sitting by his side on the slow cruise to the show.  He decided dinner in front of the hometown locker just wouldn’t do, and he’d saunter up the hall and disappear into the Temple of Soul.

Of course, also enchanted was Sam’s dad, from the first time I saw my pal striding out of the shadows of a half empty bar in Asbury Park, a path opening up before him; here comes my brother, here comes my sax man, my inspiration, my partner, my lifelong friend.  Standing next to Clarence was like standing next to the baddest ass on the planet.  You were proud, you were strong, you were excited and laughing with what might happen, with what together, you might be able to do.  You felt like no matter what the day or the night brought, nothing was going to touch you.   Clarence could be fragile but he also emanated power and safety,  and in some funny way we became each other’s protectors; I think perhaps I protected “C” from a world where it still wasn’t so easy to be big and black.  Racism was ever present and over the years together, we saw it.  Clarence’s celebrity and size did not make him immune.  I think perhaps “C” protected me from a world where it wasn’t always so easy to be an insecure, weird and skinny white boy either.  But, standing together we were badass, on any given night, on our turf, some of the baddest asses on the planet.  We were united, we were strong, we were righteous, we were unmovable, we were funny, we were corny as hell and as serious as death itself.  And we were coming to your town to shake you and to wake you up. Together, we told an older, richer story about the possibilities of friendship that transcended those I’d written in my songs and in my music.  Clarence carried it in his heart.  It was a story where the Scooter and the Big Man not only busted the city in half, but we kicked ass and remade the city, shaping it into the kind of place where our friendship would not be such an anomaly. And that… that’s what I’m gonna miss.  The chance to renew that vow and double down on that story on a nightly basis, because that is something, that is the thing that we did together… the two of us.  Clarence was big, and he made me feel, and think, and love, and dream big. How big was the Big Man?  Too fucking big to die.  And that’s just the facts.  You can put it on his grave stone, you can tattoo it over your heart. Accept it… it’s the New World.

Clarence doesn’t leave the E Street Band when he dies.  He leaves when we die.

So, I’ll miss my friend, his sax, the force of nature his sound was, his glory, his foolishness, his accomplishments, his face, his hands, his humor, his skin, his noise, his confusion, his power, his peace.  But his love and his story, the story that he gave me, that he whispered in my ear, that he allowed me to tell… and that he gave to you… is gonna carry on.  I’m no mystic, but the undertow, the mystery and power of Clarence and my friendship leads me to believe we must have stood together in other, older times, along other rivers, in other cities, in other fields, doing our modest version of god’s work… work that’s still unfinished.  So I won’t say goodbye to my brother, I’ll simply say, see you in the next life, further on up the road, where we will once again pick up that work, and get it done.

Big Man, thank you for your kindness, your strength, your dedication, your work, your story.  Thanks for the miracle… and for letting a little white boy slip through the side door of the Temple of Soul.

SO LADIES AND GENTLEMAN… ALWAYS LAST, BUT NEVER LEAST.  LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE MASTER OF DISASTER, the BIG KAHUNA, the MAN WITH A PHD IN SAXUAL HEALING, the DUKE OF PADUCAH, the KING OF THE WORLD, LOOK OUT OBAMA! THE NEXT BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES EVEN THOUGH HE’S DEAD… YOU WISH YOU COULD BE LIKE HIM BUT YOU CAN’T!   LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE BIGGEST MAN YOU’VE EVER SEEN!… GIVE ME A C-L-A-R-E-N-C-E.  WHAT’S THAT SPELL? CLARENCE! WHAT’S THAT SPELL? CLARENCE! WHAT’S THAT SPELL? CLARENCE! … amen.

I’m gonna leave you today with a quote from the Big Man himself, which he shared on the plane ride home from Buffalo, the last show of the last tour.  As we celebrated in the front cabin congratulating one another and telling tales of the many epic shows, rocking nights and good times we’d shared, “C” sat quietly, taking it all in, then he raised his glass, smiled and said to all gathered, “This could be the start of something big.”

Love you, “C”.

Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on their way

Here is hoping all the days ahead
Won’t be as bitter as the ones behind you
Be an optimist instead
And somehow happiness will find you

Forget what happened yesterday
I know that better things are on their way

It’s really good to see you rocking out and having fun
Living like you’ve just begun
Accept your life and what it brings
I hope tomorrow you find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things

Here is wishing you the bluest skies
Hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme
The very best of choruses too

Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on their way

It’s really good to see you rocking out and having fun
Living like you’ve just begun
Accept your life and what it brings
I hope tomorrow you find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things

Forget what happened yesterday
I know that better things are on their way

I know you got a lot of good things happening up ahead
The past is gone, it’s all been said
So here’s to what the future brings
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things

Written by Ray Davies of the Kinks

For what it’s worth…Better things happen EVERY day at Surprise Lake Camp….even on days when the skies are not blue…..

What is camp…easy…it is a place where kids interact “face to face” and learn about themselves and others while sitting around a campfire, or on Baldspot with Whammy. Camp is a place that is filled with possibilities, unavailable in everyday life. Camp gives kids the opportunity to practice being the best they can be in a safe setting.  They can climb towers, zip down, shoot an arrow, and be on the winning olympic team or learn the importance of second place.  They learn how to deal with emotions from homesickness to teamwork, joy to frustration and much more.

As I said….What is camp? It is indescribable…It is a gift we give our children that they will cherish forever…..and yes there is fun and games!

There are some things in this world that will never be forgotten, this week’s 42nd anniversary of the moon landing for one. But Moore’s Law and our ever-increasing quest for simpler, smaller, faster and better widgets and thingamabobs will always ensure that some of the technology we grew up with will not be passed down the line to the next generation of geeks.

That is, of course, unless we tell them all about the good old days of modems and typewriters, slide rules and encyclopedias …

Photo credit: makelessnoise via flickr

Audio-Visual Entertainment

1. Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something.
2. Super-8 movies and cine film of all kinds.
3. Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. See what happens when you give a Walkman to today’s teenager.
4. The number of TV channels being a single digit. I remember it being a massive event when Britain got its fourth channel.
5. Standard-definition, CRT TVs filling up half your living room.
6. Rotary dial televisions with no remote control. You know, the ones where the kids were the remote control.
7. High-speed dubbing.
8. 8-track cartridges.
9. Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD.
10. Betamax tapes.
11. MiniDisc.
12. Laserdisc: the LP of DVD.
13. Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. (Digital tuners + HD radio b0rk this concept.)
14. Shortwave radio.
15. 3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses.
16. Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one.
17. That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’

Photo credit: smin via flickr

Computers and Videogaming

1. Wires. OK, so they’re not gone yet, but it won’t be long
2. The scream of a modem connecting.
3. The buzz of a dot-matrix printer
4. 5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage.
5. Using jumpers to set IRQs.
6. DOS.
7. Terminals accessing the mainframe.
8. Screens being just green (or orange) on black.
9. Tweaking the volume setting on your tape deck to get a computer game to load, and waiting ages for it to actually do it.
10. Daisy chaining your SCSI devices and making sure they’ve all got a different ID.
11. Counting in kilobytes.
12. Wondering if you can afford to buy a RAM upgrade.
13. Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time.
14. Turning a PlayStation on its end to try and get a game to load.
15. Joysticks.
16. Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive.
17. Booting your computer off of a floppy disk.
18. Recording a song in a studio.

Photo credit: ghbrett via flickr

The Internet

1. NCSA Mosaic.
2. Finding out information from an encyclopedia.
3. Using a road atlas to get from A to B.
4. Doing bank business only when the bank is open.
5. Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.
6. Phone books and Yellow Pages.
7. Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees.
8. Actually being able to get a domain name consisting of real words.
9. Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it.
10. Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.
11. Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind.
12. Archie searches.
13. Gopher searches.
14. Concatenating and UUDecoding binaries from Usenet.
15. Privacy.
16. The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.
17. Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs.
18. Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.
19. The time before botnets/security vulnerabilities due to always-on and always-connected PCs
20. The time before PC networks.
21. When Spam was just a meat product — or even a Monty Python sketch.

Photo credit: Chris Devers via flickr

Gadgets

1. Typewriters.
2. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk?
3. Sending that film away to be processed.
4. Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.
5. CB radios.
6. Getting lost. With GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away.
7. Rotary-dial telephones.
8. Answering machines.
9. Using a stick to point at information on a wallchart
10. Pay phones.
11. Phones with actual bells in them.
12. Fax machines.
13. Vacuum cleaners with bags in them.

Photo credit: ansik via flickr

Everything Else

1. Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive.
2. Remembering someone’s phone number.
3. Not knowing who was calling you on the phone.
4. Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie.
5. Toys actually being suitable for the under-3s.
6. LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door.
7. Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater.
8. Relying on the 5-minute sport segment on the nightly news for baseball highlights.
9. Neat handwriting.
10. The days before the nanny state.
11. Starbuck being a man.
12. Han shoots first.
13. “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” But they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise.
14. Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC.
15. Trig tables and log tables.
16. “Don’t know what a slide rule is for …”
17. Finding books in a card catalog at the library.
18. Swimming pools with diving boards.
19. Hershey bars in silver wrappers.
20. Sliding the paper outer wrapper off a Kit-Kat, placing it on the palm of your hand and clapping to make it bang loudly. Then sliding your finger down the silver foil to break off the first finger
21. A Marathon bar (what a Snickers used to be called in Britain).
22. Having to manually unlock a car door.
23. Writing a check.
24. Looking out the window during a long drive.
25. Roller skates, as opposed to blades.
26. Cash.
27. Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.
28. Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall.
29. Omni Magazine
30. A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.
31. When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.

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